Sunday, March 16, 2008

"You Can't Spit Without Hitting a Bugaboo?" Try Me....

An article on the front page of Saturday's Boston Globe by Sarah Schweitzer about the recent South End baby boom elicited several e-mails from friends as well as a feeling of nausea that still persists. According to the article, the "happening" South End is now experiencing an increase in new mommies and their offspring - well, let's just say rich white yuppie mommies carrying $320 Petunia Pickle Bottom diaper bags (no relation to a "Petunia Pickle Bottom" who might have frequented the South End circa 1994).

Even worse: Garden of Eden has cordoned off a section for stroller parking and the Globe included a photo of four yuppie moms and their adorable babies sitting at the very same G.O.E. table at which I frequently dined with my closest friends and experienced some very romantic dates several years ago. (Note the absence of any minorities in any of the 12 Globe photos. Perhaps the "mommy and me" cafe groups don't actively seek out or even know any minorities, or, shockingly, perhaps the minority mommies in the South End actually have to work for a living and can't sit in a cafe all day nursing their babies and macchiato's). One mommy quoted in the article says that there are "so many people here now with children that just because you have a baby does not mean you have to move out of the South End." That's right - you can now freely put your creature comfort yuppie needs before the needs of your child.

And when its time for these kids to start school, I'd bet that none of them will enroll in a South End public school.

Another yummy mummy explained that now, "you can leave Cheerios under the table and the waitstaff never seems to mind." The hell they don't! An informal poll of a few friends who are servers in some South End restaurant/yupporiums has revealed that NONE of them agreed with that statement. Not long ago, I had the displeasure if sitting next to a table of about 3 toddlers at a normal adult dinner time at Picco. By the time the meal was finished, the table looked as if a some combination of fingerpainting class and drive-by shooting had taken place.

Baby food, tomato sauce, apple and other juices, Cheerio's, and god knows what were smeared all over the table and on the floor below. Not only had three adults taken over a table for six while at least a dozen people waited on a busy weeknight, but when they left, three servers had to spend a considerable amount of time wiping down the table and floor to get it presentable for the next party. None of them looked pleased; in fact all three of them looked disgusted. Of course the yuppies left the table without making any effort to clean any part of the mess they made, two of them even laughed about the situation as they walked away. The entire rhythm of the restaurant was disrupted as the entire waitstaff was forced to ignore the diners and clean the mess. The entitled parents were oblivious to the extra work they created for the serving class and also to the desires of the other patrons to dine in a peaceful manner. (Kudos to Flour Bakery and Cafe for not allowing strollers as they take up most of the customer space in the smallish customer area).

Making matters worse was my biggest yuppie mommy pet peeve: putting a diapered baby on a restaurant table. I should add here that I unequivocally love babies and children. Anyone who knows me well knows that I will make a beeline for any baby and that holding a baby is one of my favorite things to do in life. I do not, however, love entitled parents. And there is something about placing a diapered baby directly onto a table or a Starbuck's counter that makes me want to strangle the clueless parent.

Also not long ago, on a Saturday night, I was dining at a very special pea-shoots-and-heirloom-truffle-oil Washington Street restaurant with friends. We heard some whining coming from the drowsy-eyed children at the next table, whom I would assume to be about 4 or 5 years old. The kids weren't screaming, and they probably could not be heard beyond our table. When I looked at my watch, I realized that it was about 5 minutes shy of 11 pm and that the parents, oblivious to their children's needs, were not even on their main courses yet. No wonder the kids were whiny and cranky. They needed to be sleeping at that hour. But the heat-seeking parents, in their trendy clothing (yes, the mom was wearing Uggs) obviously felt that their need to spend a Saturday evening out trendsetting outweighed the welfare of their children. Maybe they couldn't find a babysitter. "Why should we have to stay in?" I could hear them say. "We deserve to go out on a Saturday night!" I was tempted to call DSS but I refrained. Your kids deserve to sleep like normal children.

But I digress. My favorite part of the article was where a yuppie South End mom complained about a parking ticket she received one day when she left her one-year-old strapped into the car while she double-parked and ran her groceries into the house one winter's day. Upon receiving a $45 parking ticket, she exclaimed "that's not family-friendly."

You know what's not "family-friendly?" Leaving a one-year-old in a car alone in the South End. In fact, I think it is cause for DSS involvement. For how long was that mom dropping off her groceries if a meter maid, who presumably was not there when the mom pulled up, had the time to find the car double parked and write a ticket?

In the interest of full disclosure, I have over-protective tendencies stemming from my own childhood. Typically, as a child, I wore a snowsuit through July and was not allowed to swim within 24 hours of having eaten anything. Personally, I would be too afraid to leave a child unattended in a double-parked car in the South End for fear of, say, crime or a traffic accident or myriad other unfortunate possibilities. I think a reasonable parent would have brought the baby in first, put the baby in a crib, and then brought in the groceries. But that's just me. Of course I also do not feel entitled enough to double-park in violation of traffic codes and possibly endanger the lives of others should there be an emergency and then complain about the ticket I received because the entire world does not revolve around me.

Also, some of the mommies or yuppies or whatever in the article complained that in the "winter, when the parks and outdoor cafes are not an option, . . there are few large spaces where parents can gather and small urban homes can make large playgroup gatherings difficult." Imagine - all that granite, maple and stainless steel isn't child-friendly? Your pseudo-artist's loft doesn't provide enough child-friendly space? Maybe, just maybe your needs don't coincide with the best needs of your children.

I have a friend who has three young children and lives in a nearby suburb of Boston. Horrified, she e-mailed me the Globe article and explained that she could have lived in a $2 million South End condo. But when she had children, her priorities changed. She and her husband actually decided to put the well being of their children before their own needs. "I didn't want my kids playing in dog shit," she told me. "I wanted them to live in a place that was appropriate for children. It wasn't the South End. I don't feel like I'm missing anything by not being there and my kids can actually play safely both indoors and out." Presumably, her need to dine at the latest trendy hotspot or purchase heirloom tomatoes was outweighed by the interests of her children. What a concept. Too bad the yuppies profiled in the Boston Globe haven't figured it out. I wonder how many of them contributed oodles of money to the new dog park, where dogs have plenty of space to roam freely? Introducing the South End: Where people apparently care more about their dogs than their kids.


Blogger MSBABY said...

You are spot on in saying that it's is NOT family friendly to leave a child of any age strapped in a car. There was a big deal over just such an issue recently when a mom left her baby in the car to take the other children to make a charitable donation. I believe that before the ordeal was over, she got the message that charity begins at don't leave your kids in the car for any reason.

March 16, 2008 at 6:11:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Kitty said...

AMEN to your thoughts on the Cheerios thing! When I read that in the Globe yesterday I went berserk. I will tell the world right now, on behalf of all the waitstaff at Toro: WE MIND when you leave Cheerios under the table -- we hate it in fact. We also hate it when you ask for paper cups because you forgot your sippy, and crayons, and hot water so you can soak your baby's bottle, and all the other weird crap entitled parents think a restaurant should have on hand/be willing to do for them. Yech! WE MIND!

March 16, 2008 at 10:32:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous jp said...

While flour bakery does have a sign asking that strollers be left outside, almost every time I'm there the space is blocked by one or two. There are a lot of entitled South End mothers that seem to live by their own set of rules. I was there for breakfast a few weeks ago and there were four mothers at the big table. Their children were running around the restaurant's main area, screaming (loud shrills) and throwing things. I was trying to figure out if I should be appalled or have a little compassion for the work they have to go through. I don't have children of my own so I'm not sure what it takes to manage little ones. I will say that It was pretty annoying. I decided to wrap up my baked good and head for home.

March 16, 2008 at 11:17:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Ashbloem said...

Yeah, my boyfriend used to work at Garden of Eden and I can say with 100% certainty that kids throwing shit around used to irritate him and the rest of the staff.

Actually, it wasn't really the kids; it was the parents who seemed to think it was ok to leave Cheerios all over the damn place when they walked out the door. Nice neighbors!

March 17, 2008 at 8:29:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The mom who left her kid in the car to bring groceries in should be ashamed of herself. As a new parent in the South End who also has to double park his car to unload groceries, there's a very simple solution: leave the groceries in the car, bring your kid into the apartment in the carseat and leave it there while you unload. Then, bring the seat back out and put it into the car and go park. Your kid is not like a dog that you can leave in the car while you unload groceries. You need to bring the kid inside, simple as that. (And also don't leave your dog for more than the time it takes to bring your groceries into the house. You can put things in the fridge after you get back from parking.)

As for getting a parking ticket, how about being smart enough to look up and down the block for the meter maid before pulling over? If you see one, either tell her what you are doing or drive around until s/he goes away! Duh!!!

March 17, 2008 at 11:29:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read the article too and couldn't believe the one who was pissed she got a parking ticket.

You left your baby in the car double-parked on a city street while you brought your groceries inside!? What the f**k?! And then you have the jaw-dropping arrogance to complain that getting a ticket, for double-parking while you did it, is not "family friendly"?! Excuse me, but what you did is not "family friendly," or "kid friendly," or shows a lick of common sense.

And, by the way, there's a really great NEIGHBORHOOD grocery store on Washington Street across from the Cathedral that employs neighborhood young people that you can walk to from anywhere in the South End and leave your car (probably black BMW SUV, if I have it pegged right), and put all your groceries in the storage bin in the back of your kid's stroller. And support a locally-owned neighborhood business at the same time. I know it's not Formaggio, but give it a try.

March 17, 2008 at 1:50:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, the Cheerios thing sums it up. "Someone else will clean up after my kids." Having worked in restaurants in an earlier life, the last thing a server needs is more crap to clean up. When my kids were small, I was always on my hands and knees cleaning up after the meal was over. I avoided small trendy places when they were that age because of that. You have to give up some things when you become a parent.

These people were entitled assholes before kids, so why should anything change after that?

Not surprised to hear that Kitty hates having to get all that weird crap for parents. It's tough enough to get the servers at Toro to bring food in a timely fashion, how the hell would expect to get anything above and beyond. Worst Service Ever.

March 17, 2008 at 2:01:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Somewhat related to this story, did anyone see the South End News article about "affordable" dining? ( The managers at Banq and Gaslight were both quoted as saying that there are so many new affordable rests in the SE. And that spending $41 on a drink, app and entree is affordable. Affordable to whom? I know that they have to flak for their employer but that is just insulting.

March 17, 2008 at 3:40:00 PM PDT  
Blogger The_Writer said...

You have some good points here, but I disagree with your friend who thinks there aren't advantages of raising children in the South End or other neighborhoods in the City. It's the constant debate of how sheltered do you want your children to be? So maybe they do occasionally play in dog shit (hopefully not if they're well supervised), but they'll learn about the complexities of living in a diverse community.

March 18, 2008 at 1:18:00 PM PDT  
Blogger thesouthender said...

I appreciate your comment and you bring up a very good point, but in reality they will not learn anything about diversity - they'll mix only with privileged white kids; I doubt their mom will make playdates with the moms at Cathedral or Villa Victoria. And then they'll go to private schools. My friend is just saying that instead of a $2M condo in the S.End, steps away from restaurant row, she put her kids need first and for less money they live in a place with alot more child-friendly amenities and a surprising amount of diversity. The community in which she lives isn't just the haves and the have-nots. Its a more moderate grouping of people that mix together better.

March 18, 2008 at 1:35:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cheerios Mom is identified in the Globe article as Liesl Trimnell. Her work e-mail can be found with a simple Google search of her name and "Boston." I'm e-mailing to ask her to be more considerate.

March 18, 2008 at 1:56:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ugh. last time I was at Metropolis some clown was bashing into chairs and customers trying to maneuver this giant-ass 4WD ABS SUV stroller-strosity next to their table; after being asked to leave it outside and making loud whining sounds somehow they managed to fold the thing up but it still took up a huge amount of what little space they have in there.

of course the kid started screaming the instant we sat down and was still roaring away when we left. no wonder I hardly eat out anymore.

March 18, 2008 at 3:49:00 PM PDT  
Blogger The_Writer said...

To respond back to you southender, it sounds like your friend made a good choice of where to live and raise her family. I was arguing against the idea that no one could raise children well in the South End (that's probably not your friend's point). And you're right--this entitled attitude you describe is not the same attitude that embraces mixing within a diverse community.

I live in Lower Roxbury, about 8 blocks or so from the more affluent areas of the South End, and I see a lot more mixing over here. So maybe I'm a bit more optimistic.

March 18, 2008 at 6:23:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Lyss said...

it's not the South End, but when I had the pleasure of eating dinner at Clio, I heard a shrill noise from a nearby table. I was surprised to find that someone brought a whiny child for dinner there. At like 9pm. To CLIO.
My parents didn't take me anywhere fancier than the local Chinese place till I was old enough to understand about table manners.

March 18, 2008 at 6:46:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Lyss said...

see also:

March 18, 2008 at 6:51:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Observer said...

I agree with most of your comments but you miss an important a 20 year resident of the SE, we chose to raise a family here because there was a greater opportunity to meet different people, to maintain great relationships with many friends and businesses, and to try to add to the sense of community that I do feel here.
Bad parents with bad kids exist everywhere, including the precious lily-white burbs.
The SE has certainly changed alot, some for the good and some for the bad, but the community at the corner store, dry cleaner, diner, bar, music center, parks and other places still make this a nice place.

March 18, 2008 at 8:04:00 PM PDT  
Blogger John Keith - radically.DiFFerenT said...

SouthEnder, shouldn't you and your partner be at The Ashmont Grill, your neighborhood haunt?

March 19, 2008 at 9:32:00 AM PDT  
Blogger thesouthender said...

To Mr. Keith: Will you please stop this nonsense? Read the next posting, entitled "I'm still here." Sorry to rain on your little parade, but I'm still just one person, still reside in the S.End, etc. This is getting boring.

March 19, 2008 at 10:37:00 AM PDT  
Blogger John Keith - radically.DiFFerenT said...

Sorry, I was torn between two comments.

The other (better?) one was: your heart just doesn't seem into this whole thing, any longer.

I don't mean that as a criticism, either, just an observation.

Your mood has definitely improved over the past year, no?

March 19, 2008 at 2:54:00 PM PDT  
Blogger thesouthender said...

Well, to be honest, nothing too controversial has been happening for the past several months. Aside from Upton Street and the occasional Globe article on yuppies, its just been one restaurant opening after another!

But stay tuned for postings on the upcoming Scientology Cafe in the street level space of the old Alexandra Hotel and the Rainforest Cafe coming to, yes, Harrison Ave.

March 19, 2008 at 3:59:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Relaxedguy said...

I moved to Charlestown recently, after living in the South End for nine years.

A difficult move, my building was sold, so I had to move. I could have stayed in the S. End but I thought it was time to try out a new neighborhood, especially after seeing the neighborhood gentrify so much the past few years.

I don't mind people raising kids in the city, what I mind are people who should be in places like Newton making the funky and fun S. End a shadow of it's former self. So sad.

Charlestown is actually turning out to be better than I expected. No chance of it turning into the S. End for at least 50 years though, lol. We have our stroller mafia but they are manageable and a few good restaurants.

Random violence is a problem though. I liked having a rapid response SUV at the end of my street in the S. End during the summer.

Keep up the complaining, love it.

March 19, 2008 at 4:18:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SouthEnder, shouldn't you and your partner be at The Ashmont Grill, your neighborhood haunt?

The housing market must be really slow. The realtwhores are trolling the blogs.

March 19, 2008 at 7:22:00 PM PDT  
Blogger evilganome said...

Great post. Having been forced off the sidewalk by these wheeled menaces wielded by their designer sunglass wearing pilots, carrying enough supplies to survive a nuclear attack, I for one have had about enough. I have long been of the opinion that most of these bozos don't actually want kids. It's just one more "me too" accessory to go with the Porsche SUV and the Vuitton bags.

The walk into retail establishments and act like the staff are their to babysit their spawn, while they conspicuously consume. If they are in a hurry to get to their waxing appointment before they head to their mommy yoga class, you are suppose to let them cut ahead of you in line, because they have "a child" like it is a passport to the head of the line.

Guess what? My mother had 5 kids and she waited in line like everyone else. Human beings have been reproducing for millenia. These morons have not learned some novel trick.

March 21, 2008 at 4:18:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To Mr. Keith: Will you please stop this nonsense? Read the next posting, entitled "I'm still here." Sorry to rain on your little parade, but I'm still just one person, still reside in the S.End, etc. This is getting boring.

He was overjoyed when that letter appeared in the South End news claiming that you lived in Dorchester. The guy is incapable of being honest. Have you read his blog? He frequently removes posts on his that don't support his viewpoints, and he'll often posts nasty responses (revealing his true nature) only to immediately remove them so that they're not on record.

March 21, 2008 at 9:44:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

March 23, 2008 at 6:37:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There was an article in the Globe today about high-end strollers:

Boston Globe: Stars give stroller company a little push

"Parents are home a lot more with their kids, and they want something that's congruous with all the other stuff they have. If they're driving a nice car, why not have a nice stroller as well?"

March 23, 2008 at 2:10:00 PM PDT  
Blogger djMax said...

As a South End parent, I can certainly defend the advantages of growing up in the city with caring parents who don't put kids in situations where they can't succeed (like Clio at 9pm, or playing in dog shit). We do have good public schools around here (e.g. Hurley) and the fact that my kids can walk to 1 of 6 parks and see a truly diverse set of people DOES make their lives better. There is no question that being obnoxious at a restaurant or leaving a mess is bad behavior. I'd submit that suburban parents aren't exempt from that entitled behavior, and as a parent, I can usually tell if the offender is local or not and I'd have to say it's about split.

The advantage our kids have is that they KNOW how to behave in a restaurant. And if they don't, which of course happens, then we either leave, apologize to anyone affected, or take the kids outside.

And so all this rings of a combination of people with good points, people who just don't like kids, people who improperly think "all" when they mean "some" or even "a small number of", and people who wish their friends hadn't cashed in to move elsewhere.

March 24, 2008 at 8:47:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey there. Agreed, some parents clueless. Housing prices stink. But you Are way off about the financial choices: that's ok I was too till I became Mom. Many SE moms made a salary that could not compete with daycare or nanny's wage (me included) It's a huge ego blow to not have a career now, but I decided not to pay someone a similar amount I make to raise my kids. Now, about privateschools? woah! we are in crisis mode with public schools. There are so many people wanting to send their kids local, that you simply can't. Last year we heard of plenty of southenders who lost the lottery and had to send their kids to the north end. - or further. We PRAY our kids can go to a public school in our own hood.

Lastly, point 2- saying the city is not good for kids? It was built for kids! my building was built 100 years before people decided to build suburbs. My kids use their feet like humans are meant to- not wasting away in the back of an SUV. We walk to get groceries, we walk to play in parks...libraries, and yes, occasionally meet friends at cafe's. Our kids learn streetsmarts, how to act in public, how to be nice but cautious with strangers, they see many people at work(those who run the city ...police, construction, garbageman, meter maids, waiters, etc.) It's a personal decision but I think suburbs are unhealthy. And boring.

March 24, 2008 at 9:50:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The city is a great place to raise kids by parents who know how to live in a city, and parents who know how to raise kids. Not entitled, self-centered, ethno-centric parents who don't know anything about child-rearing, let alone city living, just that they want to have the same life they had in the suburbs in the city.

I was born and raised in the city and still live in the city because I LOVE it for it's diversity and activity, it's noise and vibrancy. I know how to live in it, and will probably raise my children in it as well.

It is very typical for the class of white people moving here now to try and change their enviornment to suit them, even though they moved to a very different world of their own free will. They find an "exciting" place, like South End or Williamsburg or India or South Africa and fill it with all of the amenities they cannot live without. They change whatever doesn't suit them, and can't understand WHY anyone would protest?! They've done it for hundreds of years, in a multitude of countries, not just little urban neighborhoods, and will continue to do so as long as they are allowed. Every group of people has their "bad" ones, they are white people's "bad" ones.

I've lived here almost 20 years. The South End is filling up with VERY many, not "a small number" of these people. I have run the gamut of emotion about what's happening here from enraged to resigned. I have heard some of the most racist things imaginable on this side of the Mason-Dixon line, right here, in the last 2 years, uttered by this new South End. They argue if you accuse them of being offensive, because after all, their NANNY is black, how could they be racist?!

I have seen these "hard-working" parents very concerned with getting their chai latte with 2%, not 1%, while their baby is parked in the middle of the aisle at Starbucks, right at eye level with and one inch from every exiting customer's steaming coffee. I have seen bad parenting in my life, but not from people who so pride themselves on their "superior" upbringing, education and status. I hate it, and want to be away from these people, yet I love my neighborhood and don't want to "give in" and move.

The truth though, is I can just move to another part of the city where these people aren't (yet) and get on with my life. It'll suck for a little while, but then I'll adjust. I realized that who this really sucks for is their kids. It's sad to me that these people can't see that their kids are fucked no matter where they raise them, because they have shitty, entitled, self-centered, racist parents, who let them throw cheerios everywhere, and sit in toxic fumes while there mummies get manies, and stay up til 11:00pm in a restaurant because that's what yummy mummies do. They can't do anything about it. Their parents will teach them to be that same way. And they'll grow up and move into another neighborhood and try to change it to suit them. An so on, and so on, and so on. That sucks more than the new South Enders even.

March 25, 2008 at 4:12:00 PM PDT  
Blogger thesouthender said...

Very well put - thank you for your comment. I too hate the non-chalant Starbuck's parents who let their kids run freely too close to the scalding coffee. At least they probably know (or are) a good lawyer in case something happens.

March 25, 2008 at 4:47:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Alison said...

OMG!! - I just got back from a somewhat nice vacation when I see that all the crankies in the S End have all this hate to spew about mothers. As a S End mother, I need to say that all these gays need to realize that they came from somewhere, and newsflash: babies are not yet available in the Neiman's Christmas catalog. Your mothers probably had to push you around in something - and yes, your mothers probably liked to get together with friends every once in a while and have fun too! Surprise! Furthermore, places evolve, and you all made your big money, so you should just cash out and go find another neighborhood to colonize and redecorate. I wonder how much the natives will like you?!? You should just be glad that people like me have the funds and the desire to pay your ridiculous prices so you can finance your lifestyles.

March 27, 2008 at 7:54:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey alison, suck a dick, bitch.

March 28, 2008 at 11:19:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Relaxedguy said...

Alison, that was a really sad comment. As a straight guy who lived in the S. End for 10 years, let me be the first to say that you sound as ignorant and defensive as the rest of the self-entitled breeders complaining on here. Claws retracted now.

Cash out and redecorate? You should be ashamed. Truth, it's probably your trophy husband's money, not yours.

Just about everyone loves moms and kids. It's your attitude that we don't appreciate, and you sustain the mood quite well.

We can all get along just fine, if you would just realize that there are all types of people in the S. End and you need to be sensitive to the environment. Sadly, that doesn't appear to be the case.

City living is complicated and requires a lot of give-and take. The animosity here is totally unnecessary but it's a great gauge of how clueless and insensitive people can be.

March 28, 2008 at 11:21:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

could you write about how kosmos was open one day and closed the next without any real warning? and how now its going to be an upscale pizza place? because we need more upscale pizza and no place to get groceries.

March 28, 2008 at 11:26:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Newsflash: I'm gay, I had a mother. She did push me around in a stroller, but she shared the sidewalk with other people. She was always respectful of other people and taught her children to be as well. She didn't allow us behave poorly in restaurants nor did she think it was the job someone else to clean up after her children when they made a mess.

Alison and my mother both had sex. The similarities end after that.

March 29, 2008 at 9:48:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alison is the people we are talking about here. You can't expect her comment to be anymore than what she herself is; rude, entitled and self-centered. She barely even read the comments, let alone understand the bigger picture of what people here are talking about.

She is clearly unhappy and dissatisfied under her mani-pedis, expensive clothes and it-bags. She can't communicate (which requires listening and understanding), in frustration she lashes out; at restaurants that won't give her dog a whole seat to themselves, people who don't think her SUV stroller deserves it's own lane on the sidewalk, blog posters who tell it like it is.

Alison, if you you aren't one of these mom's, why so hostile? If you aren't one, surely you can see how unneighborly their behavior is.

Perhaps you do see yourself in these descriptions. That must feel awful. But only you can change that. You can choose to be the kind of person who is admired, and has wisdom to offer her children, and respect for others, or you can choose to be the kind of person who is so self-involved and nasty to be around that they warrant a whole blog about their type. It really is all up to you.

Even better, you can not read this blog at all, and go on your merry self-centered way, not listening to any criticism, and recreating your world as you see fit. The gays and us "natives" will commiserate here. Oh snap! you didn't think a "native" could read, let alone respond to a post, did you? Psych!

March 30, 2008 at 3:19:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Alison is a troll who is baiting people here. That's just too much bullshit to be true.

March 30, 2008 at 9:57:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alison, like all of her obnoxious ilk, always respond to anyone pointing out their jaw-droppingly bad behavior with - "Why don't all you faggots just leave and go somewhere else and redecorate." Ha ha ha. If she knew where that somewhere else was, she would have bought there (or had Daddy, or Hubbie buy there) already. I think we should all start telling them that Brockton is the new South End. Then maybe I can go out for a quiet meal in the neighborhood again without Alison's kid screaming the whole time.

March 31, 2008 at 9:18:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Relaxedguy said...

Great link, appropriate given the discussion.

March 31, 2008 at 10:54:00 AM PDT  
Blogger thesouthender said...

Thanks, Relaxed Guy. That was so on point and hysterical.

I thought I had noticed more scullery maids at Garden of Eden recently, as well as someone digging a moat near Atelier 450. And those kids on Waltham Street with their harpsichords until the wee hours!!

March 31, 2008 at 11:44:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn those rotten yuppies for having the temerity to dine with their children. In public, no less! How dare they ruin your precious gay paradise!

Don't hate us because we procreate.

April 1, 2008 at 10:59:00 PM PDT  
Blogger thesouthender said...

No one hates you because you procreated.

You've missed the point of the entire posting, which is that although some people can bring their kids out to dine and they are a pleasure to dine with or near, it seems as if this is not the case for a certain population of overprivileged S.E. yups who have no interest in the behavior of their accessory-like children.

The other points were that it is simply not good parenting to bring kids under the age of 8 into restaurants past a certain hour (moreso for the children's sake as there are things like bedtimes and sleep that are important for children). When you put your needs to dine out on "restaurant row" before the needs of your Marc Jacobs Bag (oops! I meant kid), perhaps you're not the best parent.

Also, there seems to be this sentiment in the S.E. that waitstaff are there, just like your nanny and housekeeper, to clean up the cheerio's and fingerpainting your group leaves behind.

No one hates you because you've procreated. We hate you because you are a somewhat dense, entitled, self-important shit whose spawn will probably display behavior even more arrogant and entitled than we as a society have ever seen.

April 2, 2008 at 2:08:00 AM PDT  
Blogger John Keith - radically.DiFFerenT said...

Oh, SouthEnder, your commenters write such depressing things. They seem so ... angry.

Why are they so angry?

Someone drops Cheerios under a table and it leads to such vitriolic comments?

SouthEnder, I apologize for responding to a comment in your blog that's about me, not you, but I did want to say to the person who complained that I deleted some of my own comments on my own blog - I've deleted three comments on my blog. Out of three thousand blog posts, I'd say that's a pretty good record. I leave plenty of comments that are contrary to my point of view ... again, my record proves this.

And, yes, regarding the post in question - I did revise my post where I told someone to fuck off. What's wrong with that? Is it my "true colors"? Well, anyone who knows me knows I often say stuff like that, left and right. Deleting it from my blog did nothing to improve my reputation!

April 3, 2008 at 12:26:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Why are they so angry?"

Maybe because their neighborhood has been taken over by tools like you and Alison? People don't like to tolerate selfish behavior.

April 5, 2008 at 7:29:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The South End is transitioning as most neighborhoods should.

Fighting it makes only you unhappy.

Myself? Enjoying a transition to New Southie Style.

April 11, 2008 at 8:44:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous WSJevons said...

I am loving the South End because I see white yuppies interacting with hispanic and black folks - both yuppies and not so advantaged. (Have you been out to 'burbs? It is scary! I did not see a single black person on the North Shore, South Shore, or Metro West.)

Watch the interactions at the dog park, at foodies, at Cathedral, the Berkeley st gardens . . .

Go to Liquor Land, Red Fez, Foley's or Mike's if you want to see diversity.

Get your hair cut at M&M. They do all races there.

I have never seen someone actually run over or forced to move into the street because a mom tried to plow someone over. I did see a sloshed fellow stumbled

I have never witnessed or been subjected to gay harassment.

I have never seen a child in a restaurant at 11 PM.

I have never seen anyone harass Pine Street folks. I have seen instances of neighbors helping a drunk homeless man out of the street, and buy a group of folks coffee at DD.

I always see d-bags not stopping for pedestrians and going the wrong way down one ways. However, it seems that a lot of the valets do that crap.

Don't blame the yuppies bidding up the prices. Blame the homeowners selling to the yuppies. If the community was tight like Chinatown, the South End would still be Queerville.

(Full disclosure, I live with granite and maple and I love it!)

April 14, 2008 at 2:35:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Exactly how many races does M&M serve right now? You sure are part of the diversity here, aren't ya? M&M has been closed a little over a year, after being in business 5o years. They couldn't pay the incredible rent increases they suffered after the yuppies drove the price up. They told me, I had been getting my hair cut there for 15 years.

Not only is your experience in this neighborhood clearly limited, you also have no idea what you're talking about. But who cares, it'll be just a bunch of YOU talking to YOURSELVES in no time anyway.

April 15, 2008 at 9:51:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And Liquor Land closed at the end of 2007. So much for knowing what's going on in your neighborhood.

April 16, 2008 at 11:59:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Liquor Land will close it's current location on April 26.

April 16, 2008 at 12:27:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

People don't hate you because you reproduce.

People hat you because you're a jerk.


April 17, 2008 at 9:31:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Nooka Jones said...

Hey there,

I am a communication student at BU and very interested in your blog. I was thinking about doing a feature piece on the recent trends in the South End, specifically its gentrification and the change in culture. I was wondering if I could possibly ask you a few questions, just to get some primary source material. Let me know if you're interested. My email is Thank you very much.

Nicholas Jones

April 23, 2008 at 10:54:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, I've been noticing this very strange phenomenon in the South End lately. I'm not sure how it's happening, but it seems like lots and lots of the black mom's pushing their kids around in these Bugaboo's are having white babies! It's not even like they look like they are mixed race (which would be completely normal if the kid had a black mom and a white dad) - they are definitely white! And blond, alot of them! How are these black mom's doing this, and why would they want to? Did I miss out on news of some genetic mutation that is causing this? Is it happening in other places? Does anyone have any information on this?

April 24, 2008 at 11:30:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you want to see black mothers pushing black babies, take a stroll west on Tremont, away from the make-believe egalitarian bubble that exists in front of Atelier, Beehive and DWR, and toward Roxbury and the check-cashing joints on Mass Ave. Down that way, the mom and pop shops sell booze and tiny little plastic bags (the kind that crack is sold in), not heirloom tomatoes. If you're willing to walk (not drive) through there, you're bound to encounter some of the real life "diversity" that South End yuppies (both gay and straight) like to jerk themselves off about.

April 25, 2008 at 9:01:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous WSJevons said...

Let's set the facts straight Mr Anonymous, because you clearly are don't know your neighborhood as well as you think.

Liquor Land is still open. (!) And, it is their own family closing Liquor Land down so CVS can drop in there. If I remember correctly, the cousin owns it and couldn't pass over the money that CVS offered. It gotta suck when family puts you out of business.

TOTALLY RIGHT ABOUT M&M. It was brain fart. She went over to the Hair Shop or Hair Fast or Hair Focus. I did not.

I should have said Celebrity's. You can rake me over for that.

There is not really a Rainforest Cafe coming, right? That's just a little too truthy to joke about.

Lastly, BigLittleTim said it best:

"People don't hate you because you reproduce.

People hat you because you're a jerk."

May 5, 2008 at 7:19:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous WSJevons said...

Reposting Kyles post on another board:
". . . here is a fine balance between change that is inclusive vs exclusive."

"Much like the SE, JP is facing numerous challenges around housing that is affordable, rising commercial rents that are displacing locally-owned businesses, many but not of which are owned by Latinos, and this whole concept of "diversity" and what that really means. One stark difference between the two neighborhoods is that in JP there are numerous community organizations who have paid staff who can reach out to and work with (organize) residents and business owners. I had the wonderful opportunity to work with numerous folks in the SE who volunteer countless hours to improve their community. However, there is only so much volunteers can do. In order to bring folks together in a strategic and inclusive manner a community needs on the ground resources.< I know this is easier said than done but if one neighborhood (and there are a number of n'hoods with sustainable resources that focus on this type of social change work) then this can happen in the South End ."

May 5, 2008 at 7:25:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Scott said...

Working on a story for a local newspaper regarding issues of gentrification and, most specifically, the "South End baby boom"... I'd love to get a few quotes from the author of this blog (retaining anonymity, if so desired).

Please email at your earliest convenience if you'd be willing to chat very briefly?

June 2, 2008 at 7:47:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous ShowNoUnderstanding said...

Unlike here in the South End, folks in South Carolina sure know have to deal with those pesky crying babies in restaurants:

Family ordered to leave restaurant because of crying child

July 17, 2008 at 9:38:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dined at Stephie's this afternoon and chose to sit at the bar. Enter yuppie mommy and daddy with their Bugaboo stroller. Cue loud shrills. Cheerios left behind. And forget about getting a coffee on Saturday or Sunday at The Buttery; Stroller central (Not a fan of that place anyway, but if I wanted to, I couldn't).

September 11, 2009 at 5:05:00 PM PDT  
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July 6, 2010 at 2:59:00 PM PDT  

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