Monday, January 08, 2007

That's MY Parking Space!!....

Has anyone read about the big kerfuffle surrounding the Hurley School parking lot right here in the South of End? Apparently, the school has the audacity to want to convert its parking lot (used as residents parking overnight) for use as a soccer field for its students. Imagine - one of its own parking lots - for an activity which would increase the overall physical health and well-being of its students!! And quite possibly instill a higher sense of achievement which might, in turn, lead to keeping south End youth off the streets!! The nerve!! Where are junior- associate-Biff and new-mom-Megan supposed to park the Volvo wagon and the Pathfinder?

What is this neighborhood coming to when South End residents are denied their God-given right to convenient city parking?!! Do you know how difficult it'll be to drag a folded up Maclaren stroller, a Whole Foods bag, a Caramel Macchiatto Frappucino and an infant or two those extra blocks when we could have just parked right across the street from the brownstone for which mumsy and daddy so nicely gave us the down payment?!! Its madness!!

What next? A by-law prohibiting heirloom tomatoes in the South End? Next thing they'll do is try to take away our foie gras and we'll all end up marrying our dogs in this crazy South of End.

Seriously, though, it reminds me of when they announced that there would be a 7-11 on posh Washington Street, across from the luxury condominium Wilkes Passage and right under Rollins Square condominiums (most of which achieve some level of luxuriousness, as well). It seems that many of the newly arrived (and I mean that in every possible sense of the phrase) condo dwellers were up in arms over a freakin' 7-11 coming in, and presumably bringing with it - yes, you guessed it: poor people. There were anti -7-11 signs in windows, community meetings, etc. Meanwhile, I was the only pro-7-11 person in the entire South of End. If someone wants to sell me a pint of Haagen Dazs, an emergency roll of Cottonelle, the National Enquirer and a lottery ticket at 11:00 pm, then bless them.

Of course, having spent a good portion of my life in and around the New York area, I think that most other city dwellers are happy if they don't have a crack house or a methadone clinic moving across the street. But not here in Boston's newest suburb, the South End.

Apparently, when you've just moved here from Wellesley, Beacon Hill, or your dorm at B.C., a 7-11 is seen as offensive to your suburban sensibilities. I mean, they took valuable retail space away from what could have been a nail salon, a bank, or (and my eyes are welling up as I write this) an heirloom tomato purveyor!!

Now where the hell do I park my Hummer?!!