Sunday, August 12, 2007

My Dog Park's Better Than Yours....

According to my bible, The South End News, the Peter's Park Dog Facility Performing Arts Espresso Bar & Day Spa Complex is almost nearing completion. In addition to the $250,000 already raised, yuppie proponents of the facility expect to raise another $50,000 or so. That's $300,000. I'd bet my life that the contributors to this development, if asked for money to, say, pay for a local school educational program, would have picked up their pooches, Burberry leashes coiled around their fists, and high-tailed it outta there faster than you could say "oooh, I love your Uggs."

According to the article, the park will be covered with something known as "Peastone," although my 3rd-grade level sense of humor compels me to insert some pun about "Pee" stone right about here. I am certainly waiting for the grand opening (or, "unleashing") (I'm not kidding, that's what they're calling it) of the new park sometime in October, as well as upcoming protests by other pet owners (one Rutland Square cat owner has already sought legal advice to require a certain amount of square-footage for cat owners and their cats).

Rumor has it that the park will include a dog bakery/cafe/bistro/boulangerie/espresso bar, a doggie spa, a doggie fountain, a doggie boutique and salon, dog therapists, a dog personal trainer service, a personal shopping service for dogs, a doggie amphitheater, and a state of the art wireless internet service for dogs. There will also be dog yoga and dog pilates classes, as well as "doggie and me" "dogrobics" classes for dog owners and their pets.

I'm quite certain that, as one of my readers once pointed out, that the Dog Park will bring together all of the different elements of the South End "Community." Translation: It'll bring together old yuppies, young yuppies, straight yuppies, and gay yuppies. If your kitchen isn't at least maple, granite and stainless steel, the honour of your presence is not requested.